Had to Be You: Bad Boys of Red Hook Read online

  “How can you be so sure? Rocki, I’m related to a murderer.”

  “So? You lived through that. You’re not a monster. If you were going to turn into a psychopath, it would have happened by now. But your father—Pete—raised you to be the man you are today. The man I love. I trust you and I will spend my life loving you.”

  “It’s that easy?” God, how could she do that? Be so fucking certain?

  “Slater, it’s never easy, but it’s not complicated. I love you and that’s just the way it is. I can’t change it, and I wouldn’t if I could. So take all the time you need. I’ll be here waiting for you.”

  “You mean it?” He looked into her clear blue eyes. “Just as easy as that?”

  “Like I said, it’s not complicated. Definitely difficult, but not complicated. Slater, there’s no one else I want. No one I love. No one I trust more than you. Only you. It had to be you.” She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a kiss, the kiss full of understanding, desperation, passion, and love.

  One kiss, a melding of breath, the mating of tongues, the touch of her lips, and the nip of her teeth, and he was sure of one thing: He never wanted to live without her. He’d planned to, but she had a way of bending the steel of his resolve into a pretzel. He was putty in her hands and her hands were all over him. God, only Rocki could get him hard on the third worst day of his life. Frankly, he was amazed he was functioning at all.

  “Slater?” She stared into his eyes, taking his heart out for a spin. She tugged on the partially open fly of his jeans. “Make love to me.”

  His body felt like one big exposed nerve. Every touch, every taste, the scent of her, the feel of her body above him, and the way her hair felt against his skin had him shaking with need. By the time her clothes hit the floor, he feasted on her like she was his last meal. And as far as he was concerned, she was.

  Rocki filled his heart, his soul; expanding places he didn’t even know he had. Her love wrapped around him like her body, surrounding him, driving him, pushing him to the breaking point, testing his limits, his strength, and his control over and over again.

  • • •

  Rocki might have been on top of Slater but he somehow controlled her every movement and it was driving her crazy. She didn’t come here wanting to break the record for orgasms during one session. No, she wanted to make Slater feel. He was always so damn controlled, and if she had her way, tonight he was going to lose that control and realize that sometimes, control was highly overrated.

  She moved down the length of his body, slapping his hands away, afraid he’d shatter her resolve. She kissed her way down his tight stomach, tracing the lines of his muscles with her tongue, nipping at his skin, and ignored the way he tried to tug her back.

  She watched his eyes as she moved lower, slipping the head of his erection between her lips. He groaned and stilled beneath her. Damn his control. She had plenty of time, and she planned to use it. She ran her tongue around the head, pressing against the slit, tasting him.

  His hands fisted in the sheets, his entire body shook beneath her. His groan sounded like a plea, one she ignored.

  Rocki cupped him with one hand, the other followed her mouth up and down the length of his shaft. She used everything she knew, every weapon at her command—her tongue, teeth, suction, increasing the strength of her grip until he begged. She took control, took him high, just to back off, and tease him.

  Slater’s chest worked like bellows, his groans sounded animalistic, his eyes darkened until the irises disappeared.

  It was a battle of wills she was determined to win. She backed off again and then watched him snap.

  He flipped her over so fast, her head spun. His big body slid between her legs and he thrust into her with such force, it knocked the wind out of her.

  He took her mouth in a crushing kiss, filling her lungs with his breath, taking her over so quickly she broke the sound barrier.

  His dark eyes were wild, his every muscle strained as he drove her up again and slid his hands under her ass, changing the angle, going deeper, bucking harder, groaning with every thrust.

  Rocki wrapped her arms around him and bit down on his shoulder at the same time she clenched her inner muscles, sending them both into an orgasmic whirlwind, ripping down their shields and leaving every emotion exposed.

  Slater came so hard, so long, so strong, he thought for sure he felt the earth move, but maybe they’d just broken the bed. He’d taken her like a fucking animal; he’d completely lost control. His eyes burned and he squeezed them shut trying to stem the flow of tears as he dragged in a shuttered breath.

  “Finally.”

  “Finally what?”

  “I get the whole superhero thing, Slater, but it’s nice to know you’re human.”

  He rolled them over once he could move.

  Rocki kissed the tears that streaked his cheeks. “I love you. I love the little boy you were. I love the man you are—even when you growl at my audience. I love watching you with Nicki—the way you look at her with your heart in your eyes, and I love the way you reach for me in your sleep like you don’t feel complete without me.”

  She rested her chin on her hand, looking a little smug. “You don’t have to wear your cape all the time. I love what’s under the suit too. I love all of you.”

  God, he’d missed her. “That’s a good thing, because I love all of you too. Can you stay? I don’t want you to go. I need you with me tonight.”

  “Like you’d let me go off by myself at this time of night.”

  “You’re right.” He pulled up the covers and tucked her against his side. “I still need to leave. I have a contract. I need to get my shit together and I need to do this job—I need to do it for all of us.”

  “I know. When do you leave?”

  “Day after tomorrow.”

  “You need to spend some time with Nicki. I can be there with you if you want.”

  “No, but thanks. I should be okay. I talked to the guys.”

  “Oh really? What did they say?”

  “They said I was a stupid shit. They might have a point. I don’t know. I need to think about it.”

  “Take all the time you need. Just don’t shut me out again, okay?”

  “I love you. You’re a part of me. I couldn’t shut you out if I wanted to. I’ve already tried that. It didn’t work.”

  “Thank God.”

  • • •

  Slater thought leaving Rocki that morning after he dropped her off at her place was the hardest thing he’d ever done. That was until he walked into Pop’s apartment and dropped his bags.

  Nicki and Pop both looked up from eating their breakfast, “Slater!” Nicki ran to him, her Hello Kitty nightgown floating around her long, spindly legs.

  He caught her and pulled her to his chest, breathing in the scent of Johnson’s Baby Shampoo and Cap’n Crunch. “Hey, squirt. How are you doing?”

  “I’m good now that you’re here.”

  He gave her a kiss, hugged her again, and then set her down. “I was thinking we could take your bike out today, just you and me.”

  “Really?” Nicki bounced on the balls of her bare feet.

  “There’s someone I need to see, and it’s a great place to ride bikes.”

  “Okay.”

  “Why don’t you get dressed—wear something warm. I’m just going to talk to Pop for a while and then we’ll go.”

  He and Pop watched Nicki run to her room.

  Pop took one look at him and motioned to the door. “Go ahead down to the office and I’ll ask Logan and Skye to keep an eye on Nicki until we’re done.”

  Slater rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay.”

  Pop went out the door and Slater grabbed his file from his duffel. He was done with it. He’d kept the picture of his mother—that was the only thing he wanted t
o take with him.

  He took the back stairs, started a pot of coffee, and poured two cups before letting himself into the office. He set the file on Pop’s desk. The place smelled of cigars and he was shaking his head when Pop walked in.

  Slater turned and looked at his father, who pulled him into a hug. “I’ve been worried about you, son.”

  “I’m okay.”

  “Do I need to call Jerry? Did you boys break anything?”

  “Just the bed, but that had nothing to do with fighting.”

  Pop held up his hand. “I really don’t want to know.”

  “Rocki found me.”

  Pop laughed. “I still don’t wanta’ know. I didn’t tell her a thing, so don’t try to pin it on me.”

  “Bree LoJacked Storm’s phone.”

  Pop ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. “Somehow that doesn’t surprise me—she is her mother’s daughter.” He went around the desk and sat in his lecture chair. “So, when do you leave?”

  “How did you know?”

  “I knew the moment you walked in and saw Nicki. Guilt was written all over your face.”

  “I had no idea I was such an open book.”

  Pop shrugged and eyed the file. “I’ve known you a hell of a long time. You’re my son. I know you as well as you know yourself, sometimes better.”

  “If I work this deal out, I’ll make enough money to make sure Nicki won’t want for anything for the rest of her life. I’m doing this for her. I want to make sure she’s taken care of.”

  “Shit, Slater. Haven’t you learned yet that money isn’t a replacement for love? Nicki needs her father.”

  “I know, but I need to make sure that Nicki and Rocki will be better off with me than without me.”

  “Damn. I thought your brothers would have knocked some sense into that thick head of yours.”

  “I heard what you said; I heard what they said. But I couldn’t live with myself if I did anything to hurt Nicki or Rocki.”

  “Don’t you think you’re hurting them now?”

  “Give me a few months. Take care of Nicki and Rocki for me. I’ll work it out.”

  “You’d better. Nicki and I will be here waiting for you, but I don’t know about Rocki.”

  “Rocki said she loves me and she’ll wait.”

  “You’d better hope to hell she does. Just know, she’s not going to wait forever.”

  Pop took the file, unlocked the drawer to his desk, and put it back where it belonged. “What are you going to tell Nicki?”

  “The truth. I’m going to take her for a bike ride and visit someone special. I’ll have her home after dinner.”

  “Okay. When do you leave?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Does Rocki know?”

  “I told her. We already said our good-byes.”

  Pop got up and pocketed his keys. “I hope to God you know what you’re doing.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Slater rubbed the back of his neck. Every nerve in his body told him that leaving was wrong, but he had to be sure.

  • • •

  Slater parked the car at the gate of Green-Wood Cemetery and took Nicki’s bike off the rack.

  “What are we doing here? Isn’t this where they bury people?”

  “Yes, it is, but it’s a really cool cemetery. There are a lot of great things to see. They even have parrots that live here all year-round.”

  “Parrots? I thought they just lived in jungles.”

  “Nope, there was a shipment of parrots that were flown into LaGuardia airport years ago. The crate broke; they flew away and settled here. They’ve been living in the cemetery ever since.”

  “Do you think they know about all the dead people?” Nicki whispered.

  Slater smiled and helped Nicki with her helmet. “Probably not.” He knocked on the lid after he snapped the chinstrap.

  “So who do you want to meet?”

  “My mom. She’s buried here. I wanted to stop by her grave and say hi. I thought maybe she’d like to see you.” He reached into the car and got the flowers he’d picked up that morning.

  “That’s just weird, Slater.”

  “She’s in heaven, but I think she’d like to know we cared enough to see her.”

  “People in heaven can see down here?”

  “I don’t know, but I’d like to think so.”

  “So how’d she die?”

  “She got shot.”

  Nicki put her arms around him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “Thanks, squirt. I haven’t seen her in a long time. I was even younger than you when she died.”

  “Do you know where she is?”

  “Yeah, now I do. It’s down this way.” He walked through the parklike cemetery as Nicki rode around on her bike. About twenty minutes later, he found the spot. He hadn’t known what to expect. He hadn’t expected a beautiful headstone—that was for sure. He also hadn’t expected to find flowers. Someone had left them not too long ago. He took the old bouquet and replaced them with his.

  Nicki stood next to him and reached for his hand. “Her name was Rachel?” She whispered like she was in church.

  “Yeah, and she was a wonderful mom and she was pretty, just like you. I miss her.”

  “I miss my mom too sometimes. I don’t think she was all that great though.” Nicki leaned against his side and stared at her grandmother’s grave.

  Slater put his arm around her. “I’m going to have to leave for a while, Nicki, but I promise I’ll be back.”

  “No, don’t leave. I’m sorry I went out on the ice, Slater. I promise not to ever do that again.” Her eyes filled up and she dug her foot into the snow-covered ground, breaking through the grass, digging into the dirt. “I don’t want you to go because of me. I’ll be good, I promise.”

  Slater ignored the snow on the ground and got down on his knees so he was eye to eye with Nicki. “I’m not leaving because of anything you did. It’s just that I have a job to do—that’s the only reason I’m going. I have a contract to go to Bahrain and it’s not a place I can take you. Besides, you have school.”

  “So I’m not the reason you want to leave?”

  He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “No, squirt. You’re the reason I want to stay. I just have to do this job and then I’ll come home. For good.” He wiped the tears off her face and looked into the eyes that were so much like his momma’s. Instead of it feeling weird, right now, it felt amazing, like everything was as it should be.

  “You’ll come home and stay forever?”

  “Yeah, when I come home, it’ll be forever. I might have to do some traveling, but I’ll always come home.”

  “What about Rocki?”

  “What about her?”

  Nicki rolled her eyes. “I’m not a baby. I know Rocki loves you and you love her. Is she cool with you going away?”

  “Rocki understands.” He hoped to God she understood.

  Nicki looked down at her feet again. She was getting her shoes muddy. “I don’t know, Slater. Rocki just doesn’t seem the type to wait around.”

  “Where did you hear that?”

  Nicki shrugged. “Ms. Patrice was talkin’ to Skye and Bree.”

  He tipped her chin up so she had to look at him. “Eavesdropping is not nice.” He would really love to give those three a piece of his mind—but he figured after the last few days, he was lucky to have a mind at all. He probably couldn’t afford to lose any of it.

  “I know. You sound just like Bree and Pop.” She rolled her eyes.

  He was really beginning to dislike that eye-rolling thing.

  “But how else am I supposed to find anything out?”

  “Let me worry about Rocki.”

  Nicki eyed the gravestone. “So are you g
onna talk to your mom or somethin’?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never done this before. What do you think?”

  “I think you could probably talk to her in your head, kinda like talkin’ to God when you don’t want anyone else to hear what you’re prayin’ for. Just close your eyes and picture her and let ’er rip.” She wrapped her bony arms around him and squeezed, resting her head on his shoulder. “Do you want me to stay with you? I can hold your hand if you’re scared. Sometimes that helps.”

  Damn. If she didn’t stop, he was going to be crying. He hadn’t cried this much since he was in that hospital alone when he was five. “No, I’ll be okay, but thanks.”

  She bit her lip and looked at him. He must have passed some kind of test, because she smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Okay, I’m going get my bike and ride around.”

  “Stay where I can see you, and make sure you put your helmet back on.”

  Nicki waved and ran to her bike. He watched her for a while. He cleared his throat. “Momma, that’s your granddaughter, Nicki. She looks so much like you, it’s amazing. She has your eyes and the first time I saw her, she reminded me of you. I think that’s how I remembered.” He ran his hand over his mother’s grave. “I remembered the love, Momma. I remembered everything, but I remembered you most. I miss you. I’m going away for a while, but I’ll come back.”

  He thought he’d feel something . . . shit, maybe he did. There was a weight he’d been carrying around—that Hummer on his chest—that seemed to disappear, leaving only the throbbing pain in his heart. “I love you, Momma.” He blew out a breath and headed to where Nicki was riding.

  Nicki stopped her bike on a dime. The kid was a definite daredevil. “How’d it go—talkin’ to your mom?”

  “Okay, I guess. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.”

  “That’s good, right? Maybe it’ll get easier once you get used to it. I don’t mind coming with you. I thought this place would be creepy, but it’s not. It’s kinda like a park—only with graves instead of swings and playgrounds.”