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  Kendall started the water, stepped into the shower, and pulled him in behind her. He’d been dreaming of Kendall in the shower ever since she put on that little show of hers that had him hard for hours. Now she stood under the spray, washing her hair, eyes closed, her face turned up, her back arched, her breasts with nipples pebbled in the cool air, and rivers of soap sluicing down her body in interesting streams.

  “You are so damn beautiful.”

  “I’m a mess, but thanks. This water feels so good.” She pulled him under the spray with her. “Your turn.”

  He turned into the spray and let the water wash over his hair and face and shampooed the dust out of his hair.

  He was in the middle of rinsing when Kendall slipped her arms around his waist, her front to his back, and soaped him up—everywhere.

  He blew a stream of air through his teeth. “Kendall?”

  “Jack.” One soapy hand slid up and down his erection while the other slid lower and cupped his balls, gently rolling them in her hand.

  It felt way too good. He groaned and knew he needed to put a stop to it before she had him shooting all over the tile wall. He grabbed her wrist and turned around to face her, taking control of the soap. He had fun washing her breasts and the rest of her body—paying special attention to every nook and cranny.

  She bit her lip and spread her legs a little more.

  Jax let the water rinse over all the places he washed before his fingers teased the sensitive flesh at the apex of her thighs, where she was hot and wet. He slid a finger deep inside and swirled his thumb lightly against her.

  Kendall bit her lip. “This isn’t going according to plan.”

  “You had a plan?”

  She tried to hold back a moan, but he coaxed it out of her.

  “Are you disappointed?”

  She grabbed onto his shoulders and rested her head against his chest as she ground against his hand. “No. Not . . . Oh, God. Yes. Just like that. Oh, Jack.”

  He loved watching her come, feeling her muscles convulse around his fingers, or, better yet, his dick. “Sweetheart, we need to move this to the bedroom.”

  “Why?” The question came out on a moan, and his dick jerked like he’d been hit with a live wire.

  “Because I didn’t bring a condom.”

  “You don’t need one.”

  Jax’s face froze in the steam, and he stepped back. “Um, sweetheart?” He wasn’t sure how to proceed. He could almost hear his sister Rocki’s voice in his head saying, Awkward! “Are you on birth control?”

  Kendall sat on the shower bench, and her face turned cherry red. “Yes, but that’s not what I meant. I don’t want . . .”

  Jax frowned. “You don’t want what?”

  “I mean, I want . . . You see, David never wanted . . . so I’ve never tried to do it . . .” She stared at his dick, shot him a quick glance, and then ping-ponged her gaze off the three shower walls she could see.

  He pushed back his irritation at hearing her ex’s name. “David never wanted what?”

  “He never wanted me to . . . you know. So I’ve never . . . And I was thinking—I mean, if you want me to. Umm.”

  Jax felt dizzy and grabbed the shower stall door. “Are you trying to tell me you’ve never performed oral sex on a guy?”

  She nodded her head, her face still flaming.

  “You wanted to and he said no? Was he gay?”

  She looked at him as if she’d just wondered the same thing. “No. No. No. He couldn’t be.” She was doing some serious talking herself out of the idea.

  Maybe the guy was just asexual. “He’s probably not gay, because from what I hear, gay guys like blow jobs just fine.”

  “Do you?”

  He couldn’t help but smile. “Is that a trick question?”

  “No. I was just wondering, because, well, David never . . . and you never asked . . .”

  “It’s not something that’s easy to ask for, especially since not everyone feels comfortable doing it or even wants to. Besides, when it comes to pleasure, it’s definitely one-sided.”

  “But so is what you do to me.”

  “I love making you come with my mouth. I love the taste of you. It also serves to relieve the pressure of the Ladies Should Always Come First rule. But with a guy, it’s different. A woman can have multiple orgasms—men can’t.”

  “You have.” She wore a very self-satisfied grin.

  “That was an anomaly, believe me. That’s never happened to me before. So, there’s the recovery time—not that it has to go that far. It’s one thing to start, and a totally different thing to finish.” He’d always had stellar control, and he’d had only one lover who liked taking him all the way in her mouth. He’d never worried about being able hold back before, but everything was different with Kendall. He didn’t seem to have much control over his reaction to her. He wondered if he’d be able to keep himself in check when just the thought of her mouth on him had his balls drawing up.

  “I didn’t think you wanted me to.”

  “I thought if you wanted to, you’d do it. Believe me, sweetheart, I wouldn’t stop you—ever.”

  She reached for him, sliding her hand from base to tip, dragging up a groan from the soles of his feet. She licked her lips, “I want to . . .”

  The sound of her voice made the base of his spine tingle. “Sweetheart, if you keep talking about it, I’m gonna be the one needing to sit down.”

  The water was growing cold, so Jax turned the taps off.

  “Come on, let’s go to bed.” He pulled her up against him and kissed her. She was still so red in the face, it was almost comical. “Next time we’ll do it in the shower. This time, though, let’s start off somewhere more comfortable and closer to condoms.”

  “But we don’t need—”

  He tugged her out of the shower, tied a towel around his waist, and wrapped her up in another. “Believe me, sweetheart, the thought of your mouth on me makes me so hot, I don’t trust myself to behave. I can just about guarantee we’re going to need several.”

  She grabbed another towel and ran it over her hair and walked out of the bathroom. “I guess it’s a good thing I bought some then, huh?”

  He did a double take. “You bought condoms?”

  “When I was in the grocery store.” She went to the bedside table, opened the drawer, and took out three large boxes. “I didn’t know what size, so I bought a variety.”

  “Well aren’t you just the good little Girl Scout? And you look so innocent.” Jax couldn’t help it—he laughed so hard, his eyes watered.

  “It was pretty embarrassing. The look on the clerk’s face was priceless. I told her it was for a gag gift.”

  That got him laughing even harder. He grabbed the box of large and, in case they ran out, tossed the others back in the drawer.

  “I was trying to be responsible.”

  “Me too. I ran over to the pharmacy while you were in the grocery store. Where do you think I got my stash?”

  “I thought you traveled with them.”

  “No, I hadn’t planned on you, and I didn’t think I would end up needing them in a cabin alone in the woods. I didn’t bring any with me.” He dried her off and pulled down the covers on the bed. “Get in before you get cold. I’ll keep you warm.”

  Kendall slid between the sheets, and he tossed his towel and followed. First he pulled her against him and rolled her under him, kissing her. Exploring her mouth, playing tag with her tongue. She pushed him away, hands on his shoulders. “What if I don’t do it right?”

  “Sweetheart, it’s not rocket science. Just, you know, watch the teeth.”

  “Do you want it?”

  “I want whatever you want. Whatever you’re willing to give me, and nothing that makes you feel uncomfortable. All you have to do is tell me what you want, sweetheart, and it’s yours.”

  “You mean it?”

  “Every word.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Grabbed her hand and wrapped it
around his dick.

  Her hand tightened around him, and he gritted his teeth as she slid her hands over him, stopping to cup his balls, raking her short nails over them lightly, making him hiss out a breath.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  He shook his head.

  She slid a finger over the head, spreading around the precum already leaking. It was all he could do not to pump into her hand.

  He put his hand around hers and squeezed harder, just like he liked it, and groaned when she got the perfect grip. He looked at the ceiling and started thinking about drywall and mud, rotting plaster—anything to avoid watching her little hand jack him off.

  A second later, wet heat slid over the head and a tongue lapped around the sensitive ridge. His stomach muscles clenched so tightly, it made it hard to breathe. “Damn, girl, that feels amazing.” He looked at her, her head over his erection, her mouth full, her still-wet hair ticking his stomach and thighs, and her dark eyes on his.

  Kendall’s mouth followed her hand as she took him deeper with each pass. When she hollowed out her cheeks and sucked, it was all he could do not to raise his hips.

  He ran his hand through her hair, holding her head, leading without pushing. He needed to be able to pull her off him before he got too close. But it felt too good. His heels dug into the mattress, his thighs shook, and he forgot to breathe. When his balls drew up, the tingling at the base of his spine told him it was time to pull out. “Kendall, stop, or I’m going to come.” He tugged on her hair to pull her up, but she didn’t heed his warning—just the opposite.

  She slid her hand farther between his legs, pressed hard against his perineum, and, like she’d hit a fire-the- torpedoes button, he lost it with a roar.

  He groaned, saw stars, and came like he’d never come before, his entire body vibrating. She didn’t let up; she kept sucking and working it until he felt like one huge exposed nerve.

  Every muscle in his body twitched, his stomach muscles ached from the strain, and his mind splintered into a million pieces. It took him a minute or two before he could think straight and get his breathing under control. “Damn, sweetheart, where in the hell did you learn to do that?”

  She smiled and licked her lips, looking like a cat who’d just knocked over a gallon of cream. “I put a few things together between what I learned reading and that sensual massage course.”

  He pulled her up to him and kissed her senseless. “What else did you learn at that sensual massage course?”

  “I guess you’ll have to wait and find out, won’t you?”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Kendall watched Jack sleep and didn’t bother hiding her satisfied smile. Oh yeah, things were going really well, and, thanks to her talk with Erin, Jack had finally stopped treating her like a china doll. She might be walking funny for a few days, but she’d succeeded in making him lose control three times in the past few hours and had loved every minute of it. She felt powerful, in charge, in control, and that was something she’d never experienced before. Everything about her sexuality, her life, her future had been dictated by David, and she’d just gone along with it. Now she was in charge, and although it was scary, it was exciting, new, and empowering.

  Kendall slid out of bed and pulled on a sweatshirt, a pair of leggings, and thick wool socks, and headed to the kitchen to figure out what to make for dinner. As far as she could see, the only bad thing about being in a secluded mountain cabin during a nor’easter was that there was no available takeout.

  She stared into the refrigerator, thoughts tumbling through her mind like dice on a craps table. The snow had stopped, and her parents would be back in town any day now, so, really, there was no reason to continue hiding out at the cabin. She could go to town and see if there was space available—either a storefront or a house close to downtown that would serve as an office and living space. She needed to find out about SBA loans and check out the want ads for a job. She might be able to get a part-time job and start a practice—heck, even if she got a full-time job, there was no reason she couldn’t start seeing patients on weekends and in the evenings.

  Her fingers itched to make a to-do list. She’d always been a huge list maker, and she realized she hadn’t made a list since she met Jack.

  Jack. Where did he fit into this new life of hers? How many of the changes, realizations, and plans she’d made had he been at least partly responsible for? If she hadn’t met Jack, would she still be lying around wallowing in her sorrow and eating Ben & Jerry’s? She would still be under the assumption that sexually there was something wrong with her. Now she was pretty damn sure there was absolutely nothing wrong with her at all. Unfortunately, she couldn’t say the same thing about David. But, then, David was no longer her problem. Thank God.

  She’d been staring into the fridge like it was some kind of crystal ball, and she still didn’t have a clue what to make. She needed something quick and hearty with lots of protein, because she had a few other things to check off her sexual bucket list, and she wanted to make sure Jack had the energy he needed. She pulled out the eggs, cheese, leftover veggies, and meat—when all else failed, a good frittata was fast, easy, and yummy.

  “I didn’t say you could leave the bed, young lady.” She’d just smiled at the sound of his voice, but then she felt teeth on the back of the neck, strong arms wrapping around her waist, and her feet leaving the floor.

  “Jack, if I don’t cook, you don’t eat. We haven’t even had lunch, and I don’t know about you, but I’ve worked up quite an appetite.”

  “The only appetite I have is for you.”

  Jack set her back on her feet, and she turned in his arms. God, she could get used to this. “I’m not buying it. I’ve watched you eat almost nonstop since I got here and tossed some food down in front of you—of course, I had to watch my fingers when I fed you.”

  He backed her up against the counter and kissed her neck, nipping her earlobe, sending tingles to all her girl parts. “You do bring out the animal in me.”

  “I know. Isn’t it great?”

  He gave her one of his crooked smiles. “I’m just glad you think so. I was having a hard time keeping the tiger caged around you. But then you did everything to pick the damn lock.”

  “You just bring out my adventurous side. I feel like I’ve been living kind of a half-life. I didn’t know it could be any different. But now I know, and I’m really glad I’m not there anymore.”

  “Are you happy you’re here?”

  She looked at him and saw a flash of uncertainty. At least she thought she had. She remembered her suspicions about his loss. Not that she knew what it was—he never mentioned it—but it was there between them, and it was a real, living, breathing elephant in the room. “I am happy. I thought that was pretty evident.”

  “Do you want to stay here? With me?”

  “Are we talking physically or metaphorically?”

  “Definitely metaphorically.”

  “Jack, where are you from?”

  “Chicago.”

  “And don’t you have a life there to get back to?”

  “If my brain heals, I have a job, but a life? No, no life.”

  She didn’t have much of a life either. But she was going to start living one. “You know, as a therapist, I have to tell you that after a traumatic event, you shouldn’t jump into anything serious for a year or make any major life changes.”

  “What’s your definition of a traumatic event?”

  “A death of a loved one, divorce, and I would say a traumatic brain injury would qualify.”

  “So, what are you supposed to do for this year while you’re not jumping into anything serious or making major life changes?”

  “That’s a good question.”

  “Sweetheart, I have a feeling you don’t choose serious—it just kind of creeps up on you. And, no, I didn’t have a life in Chicago, but after the accident, I wished I’d had one. Once you come close to dying, you have a real aversion to wasting any of the time you
have left.” He stood there looking much younger than she’d ever thought he could. “I couldn’t remember anything about the day of the accident—I still can’t. I’m told I was skiing and caught an edge and went headfirst into a big tree.” He said it like it was nothing, but he touched that spot by his scalp. “I looked like I’d gotten run over by a truck.”

  She laughed because he’d wanted her to, but she didn’t think it was at all funny. She could imagine him all battered and bruised, and the thought of him injured made her heart hurt.

  “I’d been in a drug-induced coma for a few days, and when I woke up, I was alone in the ICU. I didn’t know where I was, and whether or not those drugged-out dreams or nightmares I had were real or imagined. I remember wanting to see my sister and some family friends, and wondering if there was a woman out there I loved and who loved me. I didn’t remember anyone, and I thought, Shit, what if I have amnesia or something? That’s when I freaked out, and all the nurses came running. I still had the drain in my head, and when I got up, the amount of fluid draining increased. They were not happy with me.”

  “I imagine you weren’t the easiest patient.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  “It must have been terrifying.”

  “The nurses were quick to tell me that my sister and our friends had been there the whole time, and that, no, I wasn’t married and didn’t have a girlfriend—at least one who cared enough to show up.”

  “I’m sure they did. Were those the same nurses who gave you their phone numbers?”