Call Me Wild Page 16

  She laid over him, her gaze meeting his just as he raised his head, stealing her breath with a kiss, and thrust inside her—his tongue invaded her mouth with the same urgency his body had. They both fit so well. She almost came right then.

  Fisher ripped his mouth away from hers. “Jessica, don’t move. Please. Just give me a minute.”

  “No time-outs.” She untangled her hands from his hair and sat, walking her hands from his shoulders to his stomach. His face looked carved in stone—tense, hard, and wild. She clenched all her inner muscles and rose above him, only to slide down in a heartbeat. Taking him in, loving the feel of him inside her, grinding against him, and doing a little hip swivel when their bodies met.

  She set the pace, and he followed, sending her higher than she’d expected, so high she shot the spectrum of sound, color, and light. Everything blended into a cataclysmic crescendo that sent her reeling. She stared into Fisher’s eyes, and they carried her like an undertow, so strong, so consuming, it was futile to resist. She’d always heard that if you just went with it, the undertow would eventually spit you out on shore, beaten and bruised, yeah, but alive. Whether or not you’d want to be when it was all over was the million-dollar question. The last time she’d been caught in Jamie’s undertow, she’d been tossed back, all right. Only that time she hadn’t wanted to live, and she never wanted to feel that way again.

  Jessie collapsed on Fisher. Her gasps turned to tears, and fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck. Her eyes were leaking again.

  ***

  “This is getting to be a habit.” Fisher pressed a kiss against Jessica’s forehead and held her as her tears rolled onto his chest. He’d had the best sex of his life, twice, and each time it ended up with him getting cried on. “You want to tell me about it?”

  She shook her head, trying to stop crying. It wasn’t working. He rubbed her back, which only seemed to make it worse, but he knew whatever it was that bothered her needed to come out. The only way that was going to happen was if she let it.

  Every tear that fell stabbed him like a knife. Still, he wished he could take all Jessica’s hurt on himself. Anything would be better than watching her battle with the pain of whatever it was that would make the strongest woman he knew cry.

  The real kicker was the tears probably had nothing to do with him, which sucked worse on too many levels to count. Not that he ever wanted to make Jessica cry, but shit, when a man has the best sex of his life with a woman, he’d want that woman to be thinking of only him. And except for a few arguments about Jessica’s food choices, rescuing her, and dating her, she hadn’t let him in far enough to hurt her. She had so many emotional no-trespassing signs posted, he wasn’t sure how to get around them.

  “I’m sorry.” She slipped out of his arms and reached for her shirt, pulling it on. “Maybe this is a mistake.”

  Fisher rolled to his side, forcing a grin. “I agree. Remind me to never wear hiking boots around you again. It’s not a good choice.”

  That made her stop, which was good, because she had her pants halfway up her legs. “What?”

  “Look at me.” He sat, bending his knees to his chest, and held out his arms, his shorts and pants bunched around his ankles. “I look ridiculous.”

  She let out a surprisingly girlie giggle and then sniffled. The way she dried her eyes with the back of her hands did something to his gut and had him wishing he could pound whoever was responsible for her tears.

  “I think we’re about even when it comes to the embarrassment factor.” He dealt with the condom, stood, and pulled his pants up. As soon as he buttoned and zipped, he wrapped his arms around her. She didn’t melt against him, but she didn’t pull away either. “Let’s take a hike before lunch.”

  “I have work I should be doing.”

  “It’s not far, and it’s in the opposite direction of the cabin. You can work all afternoon. I promise.”

  She stabbed her feet into her laced sneakers. Of course, she had runner’s elastic laces. They gave more then regular laces, but still, it wasn’t enough.

  The tongues curled into her shoes, and he squatted and pulled them up for her. “You’re going to love it.” He kept waiting for her to agree. He was steamrolling her and wished it wasn’t necessary. “It’s where I go when I need time alone to think. It’s a special place… to me at least.”

  He folded the blanket and threw it over his shoulder with his pack, grabbed the rod, and took her hand, leading her toward the river. “Gramps owns a bunch of land up here, and we’ve come camping here as long as I can remember. I was maybe six or seven when I stumbled on it. I was bummed when Hunter uncovered it.”

  “Why? I thought from the way you’ve talked about him, you two are close.”

  “We are… Well, we were… Aw hell, I’m not sure what we are anymore.” Everything changed. How many times had he picked up the phone to call Hunter and put it down, not wanting to disturb him and Toni? How many days went by, seeing neither hide nor hair of his twin? They used to talk almost every day, or when their spidey sense told them to call. He hadn’t felt that connection in a while, and that scared him down to his boots. “I suppose I needed my own space, someplace I didn’t have to share—even with Hunter.”

  “Then why are you sharing it with me?”

  She seemed as confused by that as he was. “I don’t know.” And he really didn’t. It was completely unlike him. “Look, I don’t know why you’re upset, and I don’t want to pry, but I do want to help. Hell, if you’re anything like me, you might not even know what’s bothering you. I’ve been there too.”

  “You have?”

  “Yeah.” Especially lately. “All I know is that when life takes a dump on me, I go there and always feel better. It might just help you too. It can’t hurt.”

  She nodded and squeezed his hand. He wasn’t sure what that meant. “When I was a kid, I used to think the place was magic. Sometimes I still do.”

  Fisher led her down the path he knew as well as the inside of his own home. He could run it on a dark, moonless night, and had not long ago.

  Jessica kept up with him, which probably shouldn’t have surprised him, considering the way the woman ran. He’d never enjoyed hiking with women, except for Karma, but then she wasn’t a typical woman. In his experience, women either slowed him down, complained, or both. Jessica did neither.

  He turned toward the river and helped Jessica over the boulders he’d thought had kept the rest of the world away. The sound of rushing water filled his ears, and he felt himself relax immediately. “Do you feel the river taking away the tension?”

  “I’m not tense.”

  He placed his hands on her rock-hard shoulders and squeezed. “You’re lying. I gave you a back rub, remember?”

  “I remember, and I’m not lying. This is just the way I am. It’s not tension. It’s just normal.”

  He pulled her in front of him and pointed over her shoulder. “You see the circle of rocks up there? That’s it, or it was before Hunter turned it into a glorified hot tub. Come on.” He led her down the path he’d worn.

  “How do you make a hot tub out here?”

  “The area is full of hot springs. The water comes up so hot it will burn. Hunter encircled the spring with rocks, allowing just the right amount of cold river water to enter. I think he’s got it at about one hundred degrees. Before Hunter hijacked it, you could scald yourself if you didn’t know where to sit.”

  She looked at him with those big, deep eyes of hers. “You liked it better before.”

  “Yeah, it tended to keep people away, which worked for me.”

  “It must have really upset you. It’s like when a guarded secret comes out, your pain is revealed to the world, you feel as if your privacy and self-respect have been stolen.”

  It just about killed him, but he didn’t ask her what her secret was. He wasn’t digging, though if she shared with him, it would be a big relief. Maybe if he knew, he could fix it.

  “I wasn’t happy when Hunter fo
und it, but I never told him he’d discovered my sanctuary. Bringing you here is different. I want to share it with you. You’re here by invitation, not invasion.”

  Jessica shot him a rabbit-in-the-crosshairs look, and he wondered who this conversation scared more—her or him. As much as it surprised him to say it, he didn’t regret it. Having her here with him, holding her hand, and sharing this magical place, just felt right. That was enough to scare the crap out of him. The terror in her eyes didn’t help either. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back against his front. “We can sit or soak—your choice. I’m fine with either.”

  “I’m not wearing a suit.”

  “That didn’t stop you before, and you shouldn’t let it stop you now, if you want to soak. The river traffic goes way down in September. There’s not a soul around, but you and me.”

  He sat on a boulder and pulled her up, making space for her between his legs, wrapping his arms around her, guiding her to lean against him. He closed his eyes and drank in her scent, rosemary, mint, a hint of sex, and something that was all her. She melted into him, and he didn’t say a word, letting the place steal her tension, her troubles, her pain. If she wouldn’t share them with him, maybe for a while at least, she’d let the river wrestle with them.

  Jessie rested against Fisher and watched the dappled sunlight sift through the trees on the river’s edge. The sound of water soothed her frayed nerves. Their breathing in sync, in that moment everything felt right. Fisher made no demands, no comments, no questions. He just held her and let her lean against him. It felt natural to be close, which was strange. She’d never been physically close with anyone.

  A picture of her and her parents at the Fourth of July fireworks flashed. Every other family seemed to be piled on one another, kids sitting on their mother’s laps, men with their arms around their wives. She and her parents sat on opposite sides of their beach blanket, like stones holding down the corners, so the wind rolling off the Long Island Sound wouldn’t pick it up. They were three people alone, together.

  A picture of Jamie, holding her on his lap at a party in front of all his friends—people who wouldn’t stoop to make eye contact with her, if not for Jamie. She’d gone shopping alone that afternoon to buy makeup and a sexy outfit for the party, and pretty underwear for Jamie. It had been the night they’d made love—or she had. Jamie had just been fulfilling a dare.

  The next day, the loss of her virginity, and contrary to many people’s disbelief, the fact she was indeed a woman, had become the talk of the school. She’d never gotten that close to another man again.

  Not after Jamie.

  Not until Fisher.

  Sure she had a few affairs, but she’d never spent much time with the men. She’d never seen the point. Spending time with Fisher didn’t seem to need a point.

  “What do you think?” Fisher’s voice rumbled through her back.

  “I think you feel good. I think it’s beautiful. You were right; it’s a magical spot. But I also think there might be something to Hunter’s glorified hot tub.”

  Fisher pulled her closer, his cheek resting against hers.

  Jessie felt his smile. “It looks inviting. Maybe we should check it out later.”

  “Maybe you’re right.” Fisher’s hold tightened, and she felt something slip a little farther out of her grasp. “I never considered bringing anyone else here, but with you, I can definitely see the advantages.”

  The way he said it sent a shiver through her. Advantages indeed. She’d never considered herself very sexual. Sex was okay when she had it, but it wasn’t something she craved… not until Fisher.

  With Fisher, she had a bad case of sex on the brain. Maybe he had an unusually elevated pheromone count—superpheromones. She reminded herself to get back to the library to research the physiopsychology of love, not that this was love—just extreme lust, but then with Fisher, extreme seemed to be the norm.

  Jessie had never felt so relaxed around anyone, except maybe Andrew. But with Andrew, there was never this underlying current of sexual tension that threatened to overtake her entire body like whenever Fisher touched her. And Fisher touched her almost constantly.

  She looked up at him. His hair was tucked under a backward-facing baseball cap. He should look like an idiot, but he didn’t. He looked like a man comfortable with himself and his world. But then, she didn’t know what there was to be uncomfortable about. It was obvious he hadn’t needed to work for much. He lived with his mother. He probably had a trust fund from his rich grandfather. He came and went as he pleased.

  What must it be like to live entirely without stress? That was one thing she’d never known. Her parents were fine financially, but after high school—after Jamie—she’d never expected them to support her, financially or emotionally. She’d never even considered asking for help with anything.

  She’d worked through college to pay for whatever her scholarships didn’t cover. She paid off her student loans within a year of getting her first job. She was completely independent, and she liked it that way. Still, being with Fisher had her on unfamiliar ground. Wondering what he thought when he looked at her with those deep green eyes. Caring what he thought.

  “You’re awful quiet. I thought you were getting over that.”

  “I was just thinking about my work. If we’re not going fishing right away, I guess I’ll get some writing time in.”

  “You could.”

  “That’s a loaded statement. Did you have something else in mind?”

  A smile played around his mouth. “Plenty, but I don’t want to be accused of keeping you from your work.”

  “Now you’re worried?”

  “Not worried. I’m patient. I can wait. I’m a big boy.”

  Chapter 11

  “Jessica, are you all ready to go?” Fisher looked up from where he was shoving supplies into his backpack and couldn’t help but smile. Jessica wore one of Karma’s fishing vests over a T-shirt, but she filled it out better than Karma did. Not that he noticed his sister’s breasts or anything. He did his best not to notice them and made damn sure no one else did either. But he definitely noticed the way the too-tight vest hugged Jessica’s. Damn, he’d never gotten half hard when he looked at a woman wearing fishing gear—not even the models he’d guided a few months before.

  “Right.” He zipped up his pack, threw it over his shoulder, and kissed her, watching the look of surprise that stole her expression every time he did. He was tempted to peel off her clothes again and make love right there on the dining room table. But that wasn’t what she wanted. Hell, it had only been a few hours since they’d made love in the meadow. He didn’t want her to think he was just after the sex, even if it was amazing. He’d wait. It would be painful, but shit, he was an adult.

  He went over the list of supplies in his head: running shoes—check, condoms—check. He picked up the rods and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Their legs were exactly the same length, which made walking close together much easier than with any other woman he’d ever walked with. She skipped, matching his step. It was as if his left leg was tied to her right in a three-legged race as they left the cabin and walked toward the beach.

  Jessica had worked on her book the entire afternoon. Her fingers flew over the keyboard, and her beautiful face held such concentration. Sometimes he’d see her smile or hear that girly giggle that never failed to amaze him when it escaped. But even then, she was totally immersed in whatever she was writing. He’d give his eyeteeth to read it.

  “How’s the book coming along?”

  She looked up at him and smiled. “I’m really beginning to like my hero. He’s a lot of fun to write.”

  “And your heroine?”

  “She’s more difficult. I guess I just have a harder time relating to women. I grew up hanging around with guys. Women have so many layers, they’re so complex, and they’ll say one thing and mean another. I have a hard time relating.”

  He slipped his hand down to her hi
p and pulled her closer. “Tell me about it.”

  She turned as if she was revving up to do just that and realized he was just being sarcastic. “I always say what I mean.”

  “I’ll give you that, but you can’t tell me you’re less complex than any other woman, or that you don’t have more layers than a Vidalia onion.”

  Her face shone with exasperation. “You’re not comparing me to an onion.”

  He laughed. “Hey, at least it’s a sweet onion.” He kissed her temple as they walked the path that led down to the beach, thinking about how he’d like to peel away her layers… and her clothes, and see everything that made up Jessica James—body and mind. He wanted to teach her how to fish and watch her face when she caught her first trout, just like he watched her ride the wave of orgasm. He realized whatever he did with Jessica, whether it was making love, eating a meal, even fighting, was exhilarating. He’d never been much of a sharer before—sure, he’d shared just about everything with Hunter… well, until Toni. But he was beginning to understand that there were things between couples you couldn’t even share with your twin. There were things about Jessica he’d never share even with Hunter, things that were just between them. With all his other girlfriends—even his real ones, he’d never felt that way. Maybe it was because he’d never loved his other girlfriends.

  The thought stole the air from his lungs, and if he weren’t in a freaking high mountain desert, he’d probably be sweating noticeably. Thank God for 15 percent humidity. His dead stop threw Jessica off balance, and she stumbled. If she didn’t have great balance, she would have fallen right on her face, but he was too shocked to even react.

  “What’s wrong? You look as if someone walked over your grave.”

  Oh no. He wasn’t falling in love. Was he? Hell, how should he know? Was there some kind of test? He’d never been in love before. He’d never wanted to be. But then, he’d heard the love bug tended to bite you in the ass when you least expected it. He’d had his share of love bites, but nothing like this.